Monday, April 11, 2005


Cause and Effect. Action and Reaction. This is the law of the universe. It governs our everyday humdrum lives as we trudge through time on our way to oblivion. This is an absoloute. Man I could go for some Absoloute...

So here's the deal. Action: A Colonel is walking through our main site, the one with all the fun boxes, computer screens, and blinking lights. Anyhow, this guy manages to, with all of his extensive military exprience miss the large black cable runnning across the ground.

He proceeds to do a faceplant into the hard Afghany terra firma.

I'm not sure what transgressed after that momment, but I am sure it consisted of alot of swearing, yelling, and tending to a bruised ego.

Reaction: We have to bury all the cable on camp in three days. I'm not one to give out sensitive information, but im sure that "Shitload" doesn't qualify as quanitative data that the enemy can use against us. So, in short, there is a Shitload of cable here on camp, and we have to dig trenches to bury it all.

This land is practicaly one large mountain. Have you ever tried to take a pick made by the lowest bidder and break through SOILD ROCK!!! Also, its hot here, not Paris Hilton hot, I'm talking child locked in a station wagon at the mall parking lot in August hot. Retarded isn't the right word, but its the right word for right now.

Im thinking about trying to use the Jedi mind trick on the colonel. I've been working on it using small mammals to small effect, I wasn't ready to go right into human testing, but this leaves me no choice.

Colonel: Why isn't this cable buried sergeant?

Me: These aren't the droids your looking for.

Colonel: Who the hell is talking about hemroids?! I want that cable burried!

Me: You don't need to see their papers.

Colonel: Are you listening to a word I'm saying?

Me: We may pass.

Colonel: Are you taking Malaria pills?

I'm pretty sure it will go smoothly. If not, well, there is always truck driving school.


At 12:19 PM, Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

You crack me up...;-)

At 1:46 AM, Blogger Julia said...

You have a gift. You write really, really well. I think you are in the wrong MOS. Have you considered switching? Oh... My friend and I are so impressed with you that we thought it'd be great to send you mail (you know, the non-electronic type) but we know you probably can't give out your address. Anyway, thanks for what you are doing for the country, and I love reading your posts!


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