Home-oginzed

The worst thing about mornings is PT (physical training). Every Monday through Friday morning we wake up about 0120, rub the boogers out of our eyes, lick the roof of our mouths trying to get that weird taste out and get dressed up for PT. A disturbing number of the people I live with sleep nekkid, not naked, nekkid - naked is beautiful, nekkid is scary. So any how, formation is at 0130, so from the time we get done scratching, we need to be formed up to begin another day in paradise. This is a struggle.

The best thing about the mornings is breakfast. Thanks to the wonderful American tax payer and the gernerous personel of Kellog Brown and Root, we get awesome chow here. You can get omlets made anyway you want, fried eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, hashbrowns, grits, biscuts and gravy, fruit, cereal, waffles, its like the buffet at Shoney's. It rocks!!!

Now this is gone from me. We just had an influx of personel and the lines for breakfast are huge. It reminds me of that old film footage from the USSR where the people used to wait in line for four months for a half of loaf of grub eaten rye. I mean c'mon man! I want my frosted flakes and some expiered orange juice( most of the prepackaged food is borderline expired, but hey, the law of the lowest bidder.)Now, we trudge through the line everymorning, its like Space Mountain without the futuristic music and photos at the end. Egads!

So now, we sneak in through the exit, skipping the hot food, and make a b-line toward the ceral rack, grab some milk, enriched with vitamin R, whatever the hell that is, and go out the other door. The cereal comes in sealed cups about the size of a coffee mug, it takes about two to make a half decent breakfast.

We then head back to our hut, plop down on the couch and watch TV. Dont ask how we got the couch, you dont want to know, and the bodies haven't fully decomposed. So we plop down, and proceed to consume the best that Kellogs has to offer! They're GREAT!

Its funny becasue this reminds me of home alot. I remember early mornings before school, when my mom would wake me up way too damn early, 4 hours before my first class, and I would eat breakfast in the living room. I'd grab the tupperware bowl, you know the one you use to mix cake, the 5 gallon bowl. Fill that bowl up with half a box of cereal, use the whole carton of whole milk, yes, I said whole milk you communist skim milk drinkers. Then watch MTV or Sports Center till the cereal was shoveled away and it was time to get to class. We dont have MTV but we manage to substitute it with DVD's of Family Guy or Friends.

Now breakfast is back to the best part of the day, because its the only real normal time. Everything here is just too damn weird, ignorant, or just plain wrong. Its good to know that every morning for 30 minutes, me and the rest of my section get a little closer to home. Except we wear body armor and carry rifles to school.

Despit it all sometimes, 30 minutes of home is enough to last a lifetime.