A Psycho Shower

Okay, so here’s the deal.  After work, we do PT(physical training) at around 2100(9:00 pm).  Then we take a shower and hit the rack.  This is our normal everyday routine.

Last night, we get done with PT and I’m sweating like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.  So I go into one of like 10 shower trailers here.  Each trailer has about 6-8 showers in it depending on size.  There are however, the Colonel and Sergeant Major showers.  These only have 3 stalls and only the Colonel and Sgt Major can use them between hours of 0600 and 0800.

I’m looking for a free shower and I poke my head into the trailers and the majority of them are packed.  So I’m getting irritated.  Then I go a bit farther down the shower site than I’ve been before.

I see the Colonel/Sgt Major sign on the door, and figure “What the hell, its late, and no where near the restricted hours.” 

I open the shower door and find its empty, “Sweet!”  I have the whole thing to myself.  Hence, I proceed to go about my nightly body cleansing ritual.

I hop into the shower and after about a minute I hear female voices and laughter coming from the trailer next to the one I’m showering in.  Turns out the shower I’m in is separated by a wall, but still part of another trailer.  I look up and follow the piping in the shower to a small section of the wall that is cut out and which the pipes run through to the other showers.

“Whoa.”

I’m still hearing female voices and they are coming from the other side of that wall.  So now my natural hunter/gatherer curiosity kicks in and of course I raise up on my tip toes to see what all the commotion is about over there.  Alas, the shower was engineered so that no such action is possible.  So, I proceed to continue with my shower.

I hear more voices, louder than the first.  I ignore them and continue about my cleaning.

Then I realize that the voices are coming from inside MY shower trailer.  “What the hell?”

I gently pull aside the shower curtain ever so slightly to peek outside and lo!  My eyes behold what appears to be a poorly braided weave attached to a female soldier.

“No way.”

Right now I’m thinking these girls just came into a male shower, “WTF?”  I continue to rinse my hair out thinking maybe they’ll realize they made a mistake.  One minute passes and they are still talking.

“Oh Shit.”

Right now my mind is racing.  Should I say something?  Maybe I could wait till they get into the shower then try and make a run for it, and they’ll never know.  Then I start to think about what could happen.  I could get an Article 15, discharge, and all types of horrible things.  So I clear my throat, gather some courage, turn off the shower, and say

“Excuse me.”

A light female voice says. “Yes.”

“Is this a female shower?” I politely inquire.

“Yes, it is.”  Then the second voice says, “Oh no he didn’t!
“I’m glad you said something, we’ll step out for second.”  The first one says.

So I wait till they leave, and get dressed still wet.  I hastily throw my stuff into my hygiene bag.  Shampoo bottle still uncapped.  Soap not in the container.  I mean I just chunked it all in there, and got the hell out of there.

I make my way past them, with my head low, and apologize as they are giggling.

“Its alright.” One of them said as I power walked back toward one of the crowded but extremely MALE showers.

Egads!